- Zelda Fitzgerald, “Letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald,” May 1919 (via middecember)
I’m a thing that people talk about, allegedly
and that is weird
also the only person I currently want to sleep with is leaving for the midwest in 6 ish hours, apparently, and I have to drive home Sunday and I have to wake up and get my brakes fixed and finish packing and like
DO I WANT TO GO OUT AND DRINK TOMORROW YES
BUT I WOULD RATHER BE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE AND I AM GREATLY ANNOYED AT MY SELF FOR REALIZING THE DISTINCTION
I may curl up in bed early so I can get the fuck out early tomorrow morning, but I’m not sure what my life is looking like
WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS A MESS
WHY AM I ALWAYS A MESS.
me: "I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN LIKE THREE YEARS "
roommate: "but you were like a centimeter away "
roommate: "so you might as well have been "
me: "may as well "
me: "but I wasn't! "
me: "*my friends and friends of friends are talking about me, I'm being *gossiped* about and I don't know how to feel about it*"
HE’S GOING HOME TOMORROW AT 8 IN THE MORNING AND I’M *UPSET* ABOUT IT
WAIT COME BACK ARE WE FRIENDS, ARE WE SLEEPING TOGETHER, WAHT’S GOING ON SOMEONE EXPLAIN ME A THING
Amy Poehler (via slutsandsinners)
thanks for all the notes guys ah(via slutsandsinners)
Frat boys wait exactly a half hour to text me back
Greasy hipsters still maybe want me I don’t know
Whereas a v cute sophomore is in his room not being fun
- Eudora Welty (via theparisreview)
I may have not mentioned this before but I don’t usually find humans with similar interests to make out with. But this one?
HE LIKES LOTR.
HE’S READING THE SILMARILLION.
HE PLAYS THE GUITAR.
HE PLAYS THE UKULELE (ALLEGEDLY POORLY).
HE SOLVES RUBIK’S CUBES IN 26 SECONDS AND HAS ME TURN NICE ONES BECAUSE THEY ARE “SMOOTH”
why isn’t this a thing: a novel by me
I talked to my ~therapist~ about the “I think greasy hipster boy wants to ask me out” and she talked about how it was VERY middle school, and like, “here’s a piece of paper with a yes or no box, circle one” and I so so agreed with her
and I told her I would say no, if and when he chooses to ask me out
I didn’t tell her why I’m (hypothetically) going to say no, but I think she largely gathers.
BEING A PRETEND MIDDLE SCHOOLER IS ALSO KIND OF FUN, THOUGH.
I’m playing a game/notgame with a friend of mine who is leaving tomorrow. He has a freshman girl plaything to make out with, and it’s really cute and more innocent or whatever than my general dealings, but I affectionately tease him about it all the time.
And because it was his last night we all asked what he wanted to do, so naturally we ended up drinking and watching a scary movie and I kept asking if his girl was coming over and he kept responding with,
"do you want me to text *freshman boy*?" and I kept saying that I didn’t want to talk about it
but I REALLY wanted to talk about talking to him about “HI DO YOU LIKE ME A WHOLE LOT OR WHAT” but I resisted the temptation because I am A GEM and also
The moral of this story is a added a freshman girl on facebook, then messaged her to come watch a movie with us, ALL FOR THE SAKE OF A FRIEND. I AM SELFLESS.
I also wanted my human (not my human) to be contacted and fetched for the occasion. But I didn’t.
My roommate is also really really interested in getting after him for me, and came up with the idea to invite both of *our* freshman with the tagline “come watch a movie with us! your significant others are here!”
and I promptly started to cringe while ALSO wondering, as the inner middle schooler would probably attest, AM I SIGNIFICANT. AM I A SIGNIFICANT HUMAN IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW. I NEED TO KNOW.
My roommate called him jack sparrow
“We will drag him out by his ponytail” no pls don’t do that